Friendships

As I get older, I have been reflecting on the people around me and those who have real estate in my life. I think of how I have categorised them, what they have contributed to my life, and ways I have poured into them. The categories are varied and tell the story of our relationship. The categories were created by me, based mainly on how the particular relationship made me feel or how it impacted me. In thinking of the categories, I also realised that relationships are not static and change over time based on circumstances, distance, needs, desires, and other relationships. Some relationships evolve out of convenience, unfortunately, and fade away as soon as they have accomplished their desired outcome. Those are brief and fleeting - a flash in the pan, some would call it. I have grown to realise, though, that all relationships teach a lesson and serve a purpose. I have been able to reflect on a past relationship at times to recall a lesson learnt, and this allowed me to understand how to navigate a current situation. So some relationships, though forged out of convenience or for some other reason, were actually roadmaps.

I've had some special friendships. Those that transcend time, space, and circumstances and could in no way be considered relationships of convenience. These are the types of friendships that do not judge, though they know you at your lowest and at your worst. They have stopped keeping a tally of wrongs and missteps. These are the types of friendships that sometimes bless my heart for no apparent reason, make space for my weirdness and weaknesses, and still look at me like I am phenomenal. I am talking about friendships that, should you call in the middle of the night with a problem, will say, let me see how quickly I can get there. These people are more than friends; they are family. Relationships like these are built not on anything else but genuine love, facing challenges together, and emerging on the other side as survivors. We laugh now at some of the things that tried to break us but didn't, and recall how these same challenges gave us the strength to push forward. There are some heart relationships that, when you think of how you met and the journey you took, there is no reason you should be friends right now, none at all, but you are.

The best friendships are not fancy, don't require social or intellectual credentials, and are sometimes inconvenient but yet comfortable and feel like home. These are not fair-weather friends that come and go with the season. These are my honest-to-goodness family, not by blood but gifted to me by God himself. We celebrate each other's achievements and wins; we correct and tell the truth without being cruel; we support each other; we make stupid jokes and laugh with our whole chest; we give without a thought, and we love lavishly. There is a healthy respect and copious amounts of admiration. We sometimes stand on opposite sides of the political fence but quickly reduce our debates to friendly banter that may sound inappropriate but seasoned with nothing but love.

I don't have a lot of friends, but I have some real ones.