My Reason to Smile Today

In this time of COVID-19, deaths, volcanic eruptions, dengue fever, crime and anxiety there is little you can sometimes find to smile about. Everybody is tense - and who can blame us! It is not a very pleasant time at all. Add to this the issues of racism in the news and gender based violence. How do we process it all while going about our daily lives and wearing the mask of, "I'm ok". It is hard, and it is not just hard, for me, if people are being honest. It is hard for all of us because this is not how we have been designed to live. God never created us to be apart from each other - to be literally in fear of each other either because of the virus or crime. I find myself afraid these days and this is not all because of the virus but also because of the upsurge in gender based violence. This lockdown due to the Coronavirus has revealed some ugly truths about some families that I would rather not talk further about. Just to say that I now think carefully before meeting up with male friends or inviting anyone to my home for any reason. I am really sorry but I now have a "healthy" fear of men in particular. All this makes me sad as I have some of the most charming, loving and kind hearted male friends anyone could ever ask for.

In the meantime I need somethings to smile about so I have an ongoing project, "My Reason to Smile Today". I feel this happy thing has to be deliberate, it doesn't just happen. You have to determine in your mind that despite all the hardship and tragedy and sadness you are going to find something to smile about today. Sometimes it's a private joke that cannot be shared and you just smile to yourself. It could even be something major like an item from your bucket list that scares you but you decide to do it anyway because it just might be a lot of fun! Last week I did just that. I decided to step outside my comfort zone and got professionally glammed up and did a photoshoot for my birthday. I laughed through the entire shoot and even now I am smiling as I remember the awkwardness of posing and looking silly just for the camera. I remember the very masculine photographer demonstrating how I should stand to make my "booty pop". I laughed and wondered to myself if he was aware that at 50+ years old and a moderately fluffy frame, making my booty pop required dexterity I wasn't sure I still had. It was fun and it was hilarious. I smiled and laughed all day. My heart was light and my mind was uncluttered. I actually spent time thinking about nothing serious and wasn't trying to solve any major life issues. It was wonderful and I think every body needs one of those days.

It was done in celebration of my my birthday, but I celebrated life and love and survival as well. I made it through 2020! I am going through 2021, I am COVID Free! The truth is I live comfortably, I am still employed despite COVID's best efforts. I have friends, wonderful friends and I have a family that I simply adore. God's Grace remains and is always sufficient and all His plans for me are perfect. I am so blessed and I am FREEEEEEEEEEE!!! I didn't just smile writing this, I breathed deeply and felt relief. I will have to look at my bucket list again and see what's next. But in the meantime I continue to find that one smile a day.